Chapter One

“You there, peasant. Did you bear witness?”

I looked behind me to see if anyone was there, and looked back at him, a knight in plate armor wielding a sword. “What?”

“Did you witness this traitor, this craven cur, slay our liege?!” He pointed to a blonde man on his knees with his hands tied behind his back, and gave him a kick. The man fell forward and landed with his face on the stones. “Captain Daisuke Ninjin, sworn sword of the King’s Guard, and now his regicide.”

“You’re asking if I saw the blonde guy stab two people, including the guy with the crown on his head?”

“No harm will come to you. Answer true.”

“I mean, yeah?”

“Come forth then, citizen! You shall render full account of this blackest treason. My gods! Where are your trousers?”

I looked down and noticed that I was, indeed, without pants, or underwear.

“I was getting dressed.”

“Getting dressed? In the king’s private council chamber? Do you-- Wait. What savage puts on a shirt before they don their breeches?”

“I...well, I found my shirt before I found anything else. My room’s kind of a mess.”

“That answers nothing! Why do you stand half-naked over the Sovereign’s corpse? Are you a deviant?”

“What?”

“A deviant. Need I say it again? Are you some perverse agent, come to see the king slain and...I cannot fathom what else.”

“What? No. I was getting dressed!”

“With your shirt first!”

“With my shirt first.”

He squinted his eyes at me. “By what means came you to this chamber?”

“Uh, I don’t really know.”

“Then best you find your tongue. What sorcery did you employ, mage? Was this black magic?”

“Listen, I’m not really --”

“Gods, man, will you cover yourself? Your pike and pummels are flopping to and fro.”

“My ...oh, right.”

“Now tell me, perverse citizen, by what contrivance did you breach this chamber?”

“The king’s chamber.”

“Yes, the king’s chamber, wherein he convenes his privy council.”

“Can I ask a question first? I feel like you’re asking all the questions.”

“My patience wears thin, peasant. Speak plain, and quickly.”

“Fine, but I want to ask questions after! Okay, so I was getting dressed. Shirt first! And I took a step backwards to look for my underwear. Then I sort of fell into this room.”

“Fell?”

“Yeah, I fell in this err...chamber, and I could look up into my room like it was some sort of videogame portal.”

“A portal, you say? You speak of a Sol Gate? Impossible. No Sol Gate has ever stood within these walls. Give your full account, and omit no detail.”

“That’s pretty much it, dude. Err, sir, knight. The portal got all wavey and blinked out. When I got up to try to go back through, it wasn’t there, and that’s when the blonde guy basically impaled that guy with his sword.” I pointed to a knight who was covered in blood on the floor, rasping heavily. “And then he pulled out a butterknife-looking thing and stabbed the king.” I pointed to the king, who was very much dead. He had a golden crown and everything, which now lay a couple meters away on the stones.

“Foul work, that a mere butter knife could fell a monarch. Carry on, then. What further particulars?”

“Well, there was a ton of blood all over everyone and I’m squeamish so I turned away, but I saw the blonde guy run out of the room, and then about a minute later, he came back into the room with his hands tied behind his back. I’m guessing you guards brought him back to the scene of the crime.” I gestured to the regiment of guards or whatever as they were all standing around.

“Justice shall be meted out this very day.”

“Kinda late though. The king is dead.”

“Aye. Slain on the very eve of his accord with Mars, and scarce a month after the prince fell defending Fort Maxwell. This bodes ill for Her Highness, Kimiko Venetia Zlatnova. She will be bereft beyond all consolation. I fear it may break her spirit, and the Martians will seize upon it as pretext to invade.”

“Ohhkay.”

“Men, haul this traitor to the black cells. Once the Syndic has pronounced judgement, he shall suffer a fate worse than death. And as for you, perverse citizen, you have my gratitude on this blackest of days.”

“Wait, you’re just going to leave?”

They all began to shuffle off, nudging the blonde guy forward with a spear point. Another group of knights carried the king’s corpse out with them.

“Your testimony has sealed the murderer’s fate. And gods, man, your pike and pummels.”

With that, the door closed, leaving me in the king’s council room alone.

“What the hell just happened?” I said to no one, and then I heard a raspy breath. I turned to see the knight that the blonde guy impaled bleeding out on the floor.

“Wait,” I yelled to the closed door. “You forgot the other guy!”

I ran over to the knight, who sucked in a painful wheeze and locked eyes with me. As I approached, a floating name appeared over his head. “Todd,” it said. It was the first one I’d seen. A minute ago nobody had one, not the knight who’d grilled me, not the king, not the blonde guy, who was Captain Daisuke something something that I’d already forgotten. Just Todd. I didn’t know what to make of that so I continued towards him and grabbed his hand, holding it gently.

“Brave peasant,” Todd whispered out. “By what name do you hail?”

“People call me Retro.”

“Brave Retro, my sands run short. I must beseech of you a grave task most harrowing, one so momentous that the kingdoms, nay, the very worlds hang upon it. Long will be your road, and perilous. It shall bear you to the farthest reaches of the Sol system and, should fortune favour you, home again. My time is so brief that --”

“C’mon then, just say it!”

“Yes, of course. You must find my sister. Her name is Does. I have ever been fond of the name, for she is a doer. She does this, and she does that. Clever, is it not?”

“If you say so.”

“Tell her.” He began choking. “Tell her!”

“Tell her what!”

“I am getting to that. You must find my sister, and tell her--”

“Tell her!”

“Tell. Her. Blood on...the... imp--” and then he died. The floating name that appeared over his head changed to ‘Corpse of Todd’.

My vision, alarmingly, faded into greyscale and the words “New Quest” in yellow text appeared.

After I read the quest, it blinked away and the color in my vision returned.

“What the hell is going on?” I said aloud, now to the actually empty room. Then I looked down at the corpse of Todd and wondered what size of pants he wore.

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